Free 30-minute video class with Chartered Psychologist Louize Carroll
What to Do When You Feel
Someone Pulling Away
3 small moves to help you handle distance without chasing, overthinking or losing yourself in the process.
When someone you care about starts to feel further away, the next thing you do matters. In this free class I’ll show you three practical moves for those moments, so you can respond with more clarity and self-respect, whatever is happening on their side.
You’ll also receive occasional emails from me about relationships and my work. Unsubscribe whenever you wish.
When someone pulls away, it’s amazing how much of your own life can start revolving around them.
You notice the shorter messages, the affection that doesn’t come quite so easily, and the fact that you’re the one starting most of the conversations now. Perhaps you’ve asked if everything’s okay and they’ve said yes, and something still doesn’t feel right. Before long you’re replaying your last conversation, analysing their tone, and trying to work out how much space is the right amount of space, and you might find yourself changing how you behave in response to something you haven’t actually established is happening.
The things we do to feel more secure in a relationship can sometimes make it harder to discover how secure that relationship really is.
If you repeatedly ask someone for reassurance, you may eventually get an answer. But how do you know whether they’re reassuring you freely or because they want the questioning to stop?
If you withdraw to see whether they’ll come after you, you might discover whether they’re frightened of losing you. You learn much less about whether they would have chosen to move closer without the test.
These are very human responses to uncertainty, and every one of them is also a moment where a different move is possible.
Inside the class
Three moments the class will help you handle differently
01
When the reply takes longer than usual.
And your mind has already decided what it means.
You’ll learn how to tell what you actually know from what your mind has filled in, before you act on it.
02
When they say everything’s fine.
And you’re tempted to ask one more time.
You’ll learn what to say instead of asking again, and why the question keeps coming back.
03
When you can’t tell whether to reach out or step back.
And every option feels like it could make things worse.
You’ll learn how to tell when to reach out, when to step back, and when the next move belongs to them.
For each moment, I’ll walk you through the move, what most of us do instead, why it’s so hard to do differently, and the actual words you can use.
Free 30-minute video · Arrives Tuesday 17 November
Before you sign up
Who it’s for
This class is for you if someone who matters to you, a partner, someone you’re dating, a friend or a family member, feels further away than they used to.
It’s also for you if you already know a lot about attachment and relationships, and still find yourself doing the thing you promised yourself you wouldn’t.
Hello, I’m Louize.
I’m a Chartered Psychologist, relationship therapist and creator of Wisely Attached.
My work explores the often surprising ways we behave in relationships, particularly in those moments when our emotions make it difficult to do what we know would be wise.
I’ve spent years studying human behaviour and helping people navigate the complicated realities of connection, conflict, intimacy and change.
I’ve also spent six years in a rock band, which provided a rather different education in human behaviour. Life on the road has a way of revealing a few things about people that don’t tend to appear in psychology textbooks.
What fascinates me most is how much can happen between two people in the smallest of moments.
A message left unanswered. A question asked for the third time. Someone going silent when they actually want to be close.
Those little moments can tell us a great deal about how we relate, and they give us opportunities to make different choices.
That’s what I want to share with you in this class.
What people have said about working with me
From people who have done my 12-week programme, Wisely Attached, the deeper work this class comes from.
“More than a lifetime of talk therapy”
“You have done more for me in 3 months than a lifetime of talk therapy. I am grateful, my heart is full and I know I have the tools in my kit bag now to help me rise and fall on the waves of life. It doesn't have to be a white knuckle ride of fear and uncertainty.”
Jan S., Wisely Attached
“I finally got to the core of myself”
“I have participated in therapy for many years, and while it always helped, I never felt I got to the core of myself and my needs. Through Louize's incredible guidance I feel more secure in knowing myself and truly understanding my wounds, my wild, and my needs.”
Jennifer C., Wisely Attached
“I can't unsee what came to light”
“As somebody in a stable marriage, I questioned at the start why I had signed up. It has had a profound effect on my relationships with siblings, work colleagues, friends, my partner, my teenage kids, but most of all myself. And not in a fluffy way. In a genuine, real way.”
Pauline M., Wisely Attached
“I finally feel like a confident adult”
“At the ripe old age of 39, I feel like I've emerged from the 12 weeks, finally, finally feeling like a competent, confident adult. The programme is not easy, the past can be truly resurrected, but anytime you step outside your comfort zone Louize is right there to guide you through the mud.”
Maura B., Wisely Attached
“The pennies have dropped”
“As a veteran of many many self help books, podcasts, seminars etc. I had grown tired of academically knowing things but not utilising it in my own life. My experience of Wisely Attached was better than I had hoped for.”
Denis K., Wisely Attached
“Building self-trust is the key”
“I came to this programme with a wish, to love myself more so that I could pass that feeling onto my children. I left with so much more. I would learn that it is not loving yourself more but building self trust, self respect and self acceptance that is key.”
Hannah M., Wisely Attached
Free 30-minute video class
You don’t have to know what’s happening in someone else’s head to make a wise decision about what you do next.
You may discover that the distance is temporary.
You may find that a straightforward conversation clears something up.
Or you may begin to recognise that you’ve been carrying more of the relationship than you’d realised.
Whatever the situation, you can approach it with a clearer head and more trust in your own judgement.
Join me for What to Do When You Feel Someone Pulling Away, a free 30-minute video class exploring three practical moves you can begin using in your relationships.
Delivered to your inbox Tuesday 17 November. Watch in your own time. You’ll also receive occasional emails from me about relationships and my work. Unsubscribe whenever you wish.
Is the class really free?
Yes, completely free.
When will I receive it?
The recorded class will be sent to your inbox on Tuesday 17 November. You can watch whenever suits you after it arrives.
Is it a live event?
No. It’s a recorded 30-minute video, so there’s no need to be available at a particular time.
What if I can’t find the email?
Check your promotions or spam folder. If it’s still missing, get in touch and we’ll help you find it.
Is this only about romantic relationships?
No. The moves work with partners, dates, friends and family, anyone whose distance you can feel.
What if things have already ended?
The class is about the time when you can feel distance and don’t yet know what it means. If it’s already over, it can still help you understand what you do in these moments, for next time.
What happens at the end of the class?
At the end of the class I’ll tell you briefly about Reclaim Yourself in 30 Days, my self-paced 30-day programme. Each day there’s one short lesson and one written action, with a workbook to fill in as you go, and each day takes under 30 minutes. It’s for anyone who’d like to go deeper and come away with an actionable strategy for these moments.
The class itself is a free, standalone offering. There’s no obligation to go any further into the work.